Mondays with Megan 185th Edition
Mondays with Megan
Papsmearing
That is what’s going to happen to Jonathan Papelbon over the next six months in Boston. Somehow, and seemingly impossibly, the man who had never given up a run in postseason surrendered three runs to end the Red Sox season after getting two outs and getting two strikes on THREE DIFFERENT HITTERS. That’s impossible. Boston Red Sox baseball - where impossible happens.
Did Mangini order the Code Red?
Really weird story surrounding a season-ending injury to Cleveland Browns rookie, James Davis. So odd that the NFL is investigating the incident.
Davis reportedly hurt his shoulder during voluntary workouts after practice. The fishy part is Davis, a running back, was not wearing pads at the time and the linebacker that hit him was. WTF? How does that happen? Was it really voluntary for Davis?
Given the bad aura that follows Eric Mangini regarding people skills and common sense, here is what I believe likely happened:
Davis was being taught a lesson for practicing poorly. He wasn’t supposed to get hurt. Just like PFC William Santiago wasn’t supposed to die. The unnamed linebacker that hit him knows for certain the circumstances and he probably won’t remained anonymous for much longer.
Can Roger Goodell handle the truth?
Cole Hamels, Heidi Strobel and Matt Holliday
More: Cole Hamels, Heidi Strobel, Matt Holliday
A crazy day of baseball; on and off the field.
Cole Hamels and Heidi Strobel
Cole Hamels was the uber-stud of last year’s World Series Champion Phillies team. Turns out, Cole’s prowess extends off the field as well, since he married former Survivor hottie and later Playboy model, Heidi Strobel in 2006.
So, just a quick recap of Cole’s resume at age 25: World Series ring? Check. WS MVP? Check. A wife sexy enough to have appeared in Playboy? Check. Clearly it’s good to be Cole Hamels.
At some point Cole and Heidi decided adding a child to the mix would be a good idea. Now I’m sure Hamels didn’t intend for his wife to go into labor during a playoff game that he was pitching in, but that’s exactly what happened.
Luckily, Cole was already out of the game, in which he had struggled and the Phils would eventually lose, and could go run straight to the hospital when he got word that Heidi had gone into labor. Hope mother and baby are doing well.
And that’s just the first of three games! So while Cole’s day was the best (a baby) and worst (losing a playoff game) of times, it could have been worse. At least he is not Matt Holliday.
Matt Holliday Error
First things first: Matt Holliday did not make the most costly error in MLB playoff history. That starts and ends with Bill Buckner. End of discussion. However, you will be hard-pressed to ever see the final out of a playoff game botched in more spectacular and clumsy fashion. Again, the ball just simply rolled through Buckner’s legs (apparently spread wider than Sasha Grey) and it was over. Not so with Holliday.
As he charged the ball, you could see there was trouble coming. Holliday couldn’t decide whether to just reach up and grab it or basket catch it Willie Mays style. While either option would have gotten the job done, Matt chose what was behind Door #3 - let the baseball miss his glove entirely and hit in the stomach. Seriously.
To make things even worse, as the ball starts to roll away, Matt loses his footing and belly flops in the outfield. If you are one of the 4 people that still has not seen the video, it closely resembled the death throes of a sea lion after being mortally wounded by a great white shark.
But don’t take my word for it, you can watch it here thanks to ESPN: Matt Holliday Error Video
Today’s Predictions
Burnett sucks and Yankees lose. Beckett sucks slightly less than Burnett (because he is hurt) and Red Sox lose.
Erin Drewes is not Lucy Pinder
Threesome of Futility: Tim Tebow, Erin Drewes, and Lucy Pinder
Above is Tim Tebow with the busty Erin Drewes. In an interview with ESPN’s Kenny Mayne, Tebow said that she is not in his girlfriend and was just a random Florida University student he took a picture with and I believe him. Why?
Since Tebow has also previously stated he is a virgin and saving himself until marriage, I’m guessing any girl like Erin who goes out wearing a revealing top like that is likely not a virgin and not waiting until marriage, or perhaps until even she knows a dude’s last name, and unlikely to date the celibate Tim Tebow. Which is lovely; don’t get me wrong. Girls like Erin make life worth living.
However, Erin Drewes is not Lucy Pinder, the world famous Page 3 pinup girl. How people get this confused is beyond me, but it happens all the time. Here is Lucy:
Now, beyond the extremely large, supple, pouting breasts, I really don’t see much commonality. Really. It’s not even close. Lucy is much hotter than Erin; having a much prettier face and much slimmer figure to further accentuate her huge boobs.
In conclusion, Lucy Pinder is sexier than Erin Drewes and Tim Tebow is not banging either of them, or anyone for that matter.
Random World of Warcraft Tidbit
Lady Jaina Proudmoore is getting a face-lift, and a tummy-tuck, etc, etc aka New Character Model, in the 3.3 update coming before the end of the year. Pictured is the old Jaina model, but don’t worry - you aren’t missing out because there is hardly any difference.
Sadly, Jaina is still very vanilla and frumpy compared to Alexstrasza or Sylvanas or Argent Confessor Paletress or any random Blood Elf or Draenei chick for that random (Note: Hoof girls are hot.) Since Jaina and Sylvanas are going to be paired together during one of the Icecrown instances, fighting with them is going to be analogous to singing alongside Susan Boyle and Kristin Chenoweth (pictured below) - yes, they both have the talent to get the job done but one looks a hell of a lot better in action.
Game 163: Tigers vs Twins
More: Chelsea Cooley, World of Warcraft
Only Chelsea Cooley is perfect but last night’s game was perfectly flawed.
Wow. That was an incredible game. Was it perfectly played? Nope. But considering the pressure of a one game playoff to get into the postseason, that’s not surprising and exactly what made it so great. For every nervous mental error, there was an outstanding clutch play to keep things going. Resilience makes for great games. To steal the TNT slogan, last night TBS new drama.
The only downside is that was likely the best game we’ll see for the rest of the year. Perfectly flawed IMHO.
And since we make every effort to include a hottie in every post, here is another glimpse at perfection: Twins superstar Joe Mauer’s ex-girlfriend and former Miss USA, Chelsea Cooley.
Random World of Warcraft Tidbit
Pretty interesting read about quest progression, phasing and the upcoming Cataclysm expansion in a Gamasutra interview with World Designer Alex Afrasiabi.
Kristin Davis in a bikini
WTF Kristin Davis Bikini Body
Kristin Davis. The forty-something semi-attractive woman from Sex and the City that swims in smoking hot Kim Cattrall’s wake. At least that’s what I thought. Who knew her body was this tight? Sheesh. I learned something today.
Kate Beckinsale is the Sexiest Woman Alive
So says Esquire. And you’ll get no argument from me. First, make sure you pacemaker is functioning properly and then, and only then, check out Kate in a wife-beater.
Tony Romo can’t count to four.
Seems like Romo didn’t realize it was fourth down after he last pass fell incomplete. Great success!
The lesson as always: Carrie Underwood > Jessica Simpson, therefore by the associative property Tony Romo makes bad decisions. Stephen Hawking taught me that proof. True story.
Miquel Cabrera hits everything
He hit home runs. Cabrera allegedly hits his wife - and she hits (aka scratches) back. And, again allegedly of course, he wanted in the worst way to hit a 15 year old fat kid that Cabrera was taunting for um, being fat, apparently. In both cases, Cabrera was believed to be very drunk and had a bad day at the plate. Wow.
Miquel Cabrera has to be a mortal lock for the Roberto Clemente Humanitarian Award. Thank God no one actually lives in Detroit anymore or he might be considered a threat to society. (Yes, I just used to “society” and “Detroit” in the same sentence. It’s called artistic license.)
Not that a one game playoff to decide your postseason fate needed anymore drama (Twins vs Tigers, today at 5 ET on TBS), but it got some anyway.
Random World of Warcraft Musing: Arthas Redeemed
Prince Arthas Menethil redeemed? Maybe? I can’t imagine the plan is just going straight into Icecrown and kill him. The Blizzard folks have been dropping clues that all in Icecrown might not be as it seems, so I think it would be an interesting twist if Arthas did in fact manage to regain his soul (and body) from Ner’zhul, the former Orc Shaman that became the original Lich King form that was trapped in the Frozen Throne.
Redemption often make for a satisfying ending and effective plot twist. Think Anakin Skywalker. Most promising champion (Greatest pilot in the galaxy. And a cunning warrior. And a good friend.); to most reviled enemy (He’s more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.); to unlikely savior (Throwing Emperor Palpatine into a bottomless pit to save Luke and the Republic at the cost of his own life.) Most likely wrong, but just a thought.
Megan Fox Really Butch Bull-Dyke Monday
More: Megan Fox
Megan Fox still rules the mortal world
I have no idea why Megan Fox said that bull-dyke nonsense to Diva magazine, but as always, who gives a crap what she says? Great Odin’s Raven, she is absurdly hot. True story.
Surrogates gets an abortion
I told my buddy that Surrogates looks like a bad remake of Blade Runner crossed with a bad remake of The Matrix. And the masses have generally agreed by opting to see the epic Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Surrogates is so weak and so ridiculously too soon to play the “plugged into a virtual reality that could be fatal” theme, that even the stunning Helena Mattsson couldn’t save it.
NFL Week 4 in review: Tony Romo Edition
Tony Romo looked scared to death in big moments for the zillionth time. Not a personality trait you want for the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys and the most irrational owner in sports not named Al Davis. No one should be surprised at his poor decision making. He dumped a rising babe in Carrie Underwood (who gets subtly hotter every day likely from minor tweaking surgery as she gets more cash) for a well-past-her-prime Jessica Simpson. Tony Romo makes poor decisions. End of story.
Twins versus Tigers in one game takes all
Love it. Single elimination playoff baseball is fantastic. Tuesday 5PM ET on TBS. Here’s a preview from mlb.com
Random World of Warcraft Musing
So, if all the Alliance players hate Varian Wrynn and every Horde player loathes Garrosh Hellscream, wouldn’t it be incredibly convenient and heart-warming if they killed each other during the forthcoming attack on Icecrown Citadel? Unlikely, but let’s hope, shall we?
Pucker up for Megan Fox Monday
More: Megan Fox
We don’t get to see who is the target for Megan Fox’s hot puckered lips so you are free to think happy thoughts.
Brandi Chastain Sports Bra Can Be Yours
More: Brandi Chastain
When Brandi Chastain ripped off her shirt after scoring the winning goal in the Women’s World Cup back in 1999, it was a big deal. I was watching it live, and there was absolutely a split-second of “OMFG, what is she doing? Is she so fired up that Brandi’s going to show us her bewbs?” Seriously, it was gripping television. No one knew what those girls wear under those shirts. I wouldn’t have guessed a black sports bra in a million years.
Fast-forward to 2009 and even the Dalai Lama knows of Brandi Chastain and her uber-famous black sports bra. And so does the U.S. bankruptcy court. The bra is being held as part of the Sports Museum of America Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing. They need money and are ransoming back the items that were lent to them. Classy, huh? They want $250 for the bra, $1500 for Tony Hawk’s first skateboard, and a bunch of other assorted crap. It’s a travishamockerly of the highest order.
Denise Richards Funbags
More: Denise Richards
Denise Richards can still look good at times. Maybe not Wild Things good, but certainly pretty damn hawt. And one of her most appealing features is her funbags. Don’t believe me? OK, fine. Hear it from Denise Richards herself.
Megan Fox Amazing Technicolored Fedora Edition
More: Britney Spears, Jessical Biel, Megan Fox
I know what you are thinking and I don’t get it either. Maybe Megan Fox has reached the point where she feels like she needs to lower expectations of her hotness a bit by wearing a hat that would embarrass Carrot Top. Of course she is not fooling anybody. Megan Fox = 1337.
Funniest Video of the Monday
With all the Britney Spears Circus Tour hype going on, I think it is fun to return to a time when things were going so well for Brit. It’s time for some good ole “Leave Britney Alone!” (Note: NSFW with lots of extremely gay swearing, screaming and very loud sobbing.)
WTF? Jessica Biel got naked. Holy fucking shit.
Repeatedly saying she would never get naked on film because she wanted to be taken seriously as an actresss (ignoring that every female Oscar winner gets naked - it’s called acting for a reason), Jessica Biel has finally relented and given the world a tremendous gift. Yes, Jessica Biel gets topless in Powder Blue. And Jess looks every bit as good as expected. Wow.
