Dancing with the Stars announced the lineup for next season, Season 8. We’ll break it down for you.
Lawrence Taylor
Who: Retired NFL great and perhaps the best football player ever. Also a crack head with multiple arrests relating to cocaine.
Chances: While NFL guys like Emmit Smith, Jerry Rice, Jason Taylor, and Warren Sapp have a history of doing well, I don’t give LT much of a chance.
Shawn Johnson
Who: Olympic gold medal winning gymnast.
Chances: You’d think being a gymnast would give you a great shot with the requirements for balance and discipline and choreography. She is tiny though at only 4′ 10″; I wonder if that will hurt her. I like her chances though.
Steve Wozniak
Who: Co-founder of Apple. Geek legend.
Chances: This is a Mark Cuban pick. The Woz has no shot.
Belinda Carlisle
Who: Lead singer of the 80s girl band The Go-Gos.
Chances: Middle of the pack.
David Allen Grier
Who: Comedian of “In Living Color” fame.
Chances: Awful. See Jeff Ross/Adam Carolla.
Ty Murray
Who: I said “who” also. New to me. A former bull-rider married to the singer Jewel.
Chances: Unknowns are dangerous and bull riding is physically tough so I’m going to give him a decent shot.
Jewel
Who:Singer. Married to Ty Murray, mentioned above. Yes, husband/wife on same show. Weird.
Chances: I’m going with not good.
Lil Kim
Who: Rapper. Recently spent a year in prison for perjury.
Chances: I’ve seen her dance back in the Moulin Rouge! days. Terrible.
Steve-O
Who: Part of the “Jackass” crew and later “Wild Boyz” and a personal favorite of mine. Like LT, Steve-O also has a history of drug problems and run-ins with the law.
Chances: This is my sleeper pick. Being a fan, I happen to know that Steve-O graduated from Ringling Bros Clown School. He is very athletic and has insane body control. If he can stay focused and isn’t high out of his mind, both big IFs, then he has a great shot.
Nancy O’Dell
Who: Host of “Access Hollywood”
Chances: Average to below average. Likely voted out by mid season.
Chuck Wicks
Who: No idea but Google says a country singer.
Chances: A complete unknown but rumor has it he is paired with two-time winner Julianne Hough so that is worth noting.
Gilles Marini
Who: Another seemingly random person, apparently a male model and pretty boy character actor.
Chances: Again, no data points on this guy so average performance is a decent bet.
Denise Richards
Who: Actress.
Chances: Great to look at and pure gold for tabloids, but she has a better chance of seeing God.
Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Reality TV
