Eliza Dushku Alluringly Naked
More: Eliza Dushku, Lindsay Lohan, Susan Boyle
Um, so, yeah. There is Eliza Dushku, naked as a jaybird. There is nothing I can possibly add so take a few moments to savor that tasty morsel and lets move on.
Sexy Video of the Tuesday
A Hustler Lingerie video shoot. Good times.
Funny Video of the Tuesday
Lindsay Lohan combats the tabloid headlines with the best defense possible: Humor. Lindsay Lohan and eHarmony FTW.
WTF? Susan Boyle can really fucking sing!
Here is a random 47 year old woman absolutely killing it audition for a reality in the UK. The surprise factor definitely plays into it. At first glance she seems like a simpleton Kathy Bates but sings like an apex Julie Andrews. Seriously. Ridiculously good. So here is Susan Boyle signing “I dreamed a dream” from Les Miserables.
Megan Fox Monday Topless Leather Edition
No idea what Megan Fox is doing posing topless in obscenely tight leather pants. However, I wish she did this every day around 4PM when I get more coffee to muster a second wind. She knows motivation.
Good Friday with India de Beaufort
More: Aneka, Car Chase, India de Beaufort, Jessica Biel, Krod Mandoon, Powder Blue, Scion, Stripper
India de Beaufort
What is this? A new show that actually looks funny and isn’t a remake, a spinoff, a sequel or based on a comic book? I thought original scripts were extinct. Huh. But I digress.
Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire is a new show on Comedy Central. A spoof of the sword and sorcery genre complete with a sexy kick-ass vixen: Aneka. She is portrayed by the stunning India de Beaufort and is described as “the beautiful Pagan warrioress whose weapon of choice is sex.”
Here is a video of Aneka in action.
Sexiest Video of the Good Friday
Jessica Biel on learning to be a stripper for her new role in Powder Blue: Jessica Biel Stripper in Powder Blue
Good Friday, indeed. Wow.
Funniest Video of the Good Friday
The truth about porn: Children Exposed To Porn May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable
WTF? Crazy woman in a Toyota Scion Car Chase!
She is a much, much better driver than most of these lame cop pursuits! Good times.
Nick Adenhart R.I.P.
Let me first apologize for two days now without a hot chick lead. But today’s big story is the death of Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim pitcher, Nick Adenhart. He was killed in a hit and run car accident. Nick was only 22. Condolences to his friends and family and the Angels organization.
Funniest Video of the Maundy Thursday
From the creator of “The Notebook”, comes “The Handjob”.
Sexiest Video of the Maundy Thursday
WTF? Bruce Springsteen named as other man in divorce case
Really? A guy who is on the run 40 weeks a year, musician or athlete or whatever, cheating on his wife? This is surprising? Especially after he cheated on his first wife, Julianne Phillips, with his current wife, Patti Scialfa. The lesson as always: once a cheater, always a cheater. Even the Boss.
Amazing Tiger Woods Masters Shot
The Masters starts today. Tiger is back and as focused as ever. Here is one of his greatest shots.
Adam Lambert Mad World
We normally lead with a hot girl, but today you’ll have to live with a flaming homosexual who happens to sing very well. Close enough, right?
The interwebs are buzzing with talk of Adam Lambert’s performance of “Mad World” (written by Tears for Fears then covered by Gary Jules). If you want to see Adam do his thing, here it is:
However, the best version is still, and always will be, the Gears of War commercial. Best video game advertisement ever.
Sexiest Video of the Hump Day
I have a treat for you. How about a video of two incredibly beautiful girls using lightsabers to slice off their opponent’s clothing? Really. Rileah Vanderbilt and Clare Grant fight with lightsabers.
Funniest Video of the Hump Day
Close Range. The world’s first video game that consists entirely of shooting people point-blank in-the-face.
Jade Raymond Assassin’s Creed 2
More: Assassins Creed 2, Bruno, Carol Shaya, Jade Raymond, PFC Hayes
Ubisoft has launched a teaser site for Assassin’s Creed 2. Mixed feelings about this. The original was one of the most disappointing in recent memory; incredible graphics and amazing open world movement but bad story and boring combat.
The silver lining is regardless of the quality of the new game, we get to see more of Ubisoft producer Jade Raymond. Jade gets my vote for most beautiful woman in the gaming industry. So hawt.
WTF? Lawrence Kutner? Kal Penn? Kumar?
By far the most talked about story on the interwebs this morning is the death of Lawrence Kutner, AKA Kal Penn and Kumar. Having never watched “House” and being shallow, I only know the babes, Jennifer Morrison and Olivia Wilde. So my first reaction was “Kumar was on House, M.D.”? Who knew?
Apparently a lot of people knew and cared because the Lawrence Kutner Memorial Video is getting insane link love this morning. So, ummm, R.I.P. Dr Lawrence Kutner/Kal Penn/Kumar Patel.
Funniest Video of the Tuesday
The trailer for Bruno, the Sacha Baron Cohen followup to Borat. OH. MY. GOD.
Sexiest Video of the Tuesday
PFC Hayes stripping in Iraq. Her ass is incredible. Go Army!
Cat Fight!
So in 1994, Carol Shaya was a cop in NYC. Then she posed for Playboy in full uniform and that got her fired. She sued for $100K and lost.
Fast forward to 2009. Carol just filed for a restraining order against her live-in girlfriend who apparently beat the crap out of her.
So what did we learn? Carol knows drama. Even more than TNT.
Megan Fox Monday Transformers 2 Cleavage Edition
Here is the lovely and talented Megan Fox in a promo shot for Transformers 2. Apparently Decepticons dig cleavage too.
Sexiest Video of the Monday
Skyn Condom Commercial. Holy moly. They are actually showing this on prime time TV in the UK. If Trojan even thought about an ad this racy to show in the USA, the FCC would fine them one trillion dollars. At least.
Funniest Video of the Monday
Long before the best clips on Saturday Night Live were pre-recorded rap parodies, the late Phil Hartman knocked it out of the park as Bill Clinton at McDonalds.
Sam Ronson changed the locks and leaves Lindsay searching for penis.
Looks like the charade is over. Finally. You weren’t fooling anybody, Lindsay Lohan. Please don’t go for another fake lesbo romance. Time for LILO to play for her true team again. She must be starving for penis after all this time finger-painting. So who’s first? Jeremy Piven or Matt Leinart?
WTF? Steve Guttenberg?
On Friday we led with yet another Fox News babe, Anna Gilligan. Turns out she has a boyfriend, which always sucks.
But the real gutpunch: her boyfriend is Steve Guttenberg. Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
If you are under 30, you probably don’t even know who is since he hasn’t been in a decent movie since 1987. As the great philosopher Han Solo once said, “where did you did up that old fossil?”
If given 3-1 odds, I would have bet $100 that Steve Guttenberg was dead. Unbelievable.
Ashley Judd and UK basketball
We normally wouldn’t waste your time talking about John Calipari taking over as the head basketball coach at the University of Kentucky. It’s only a relevant skoop because it gives us an excuse to post a picture of the #1 UK fan, Miss Ashley Judd.
Thought and prayers for Farrah Fawcett
Reports are that Farrah Fawcett is in critical condition at a Los Angeles area hospital. She has been battling cancer for three years. Livestrong, Farrah - you can fight through this.
Anna Gilligan’s Naked Summer Camp
More: Anna Gilligan, Borat, Danica Patrick, Naked Dawn
Nearly as prolific as Stephen King’s writing and only half a step behind Brazil’s supermodel factory is the HR department of Fox News. These proud men and women will stop at nothing to find a seemingly endless array of beautiful women with lovely faces and shapely legs to get on camera and discuss nonsense most of us who never pay attention to under normal circumstances. And it works.
That brings us to Anna Gilligan. Is she ever competing with Megan Fox for a Maxim/FHM sexiest woman crown? Doubtful - though she does have kinda of a Petra Nemcova thing going on. But adorable beyond compare? Quite possibly, yes. But that’s just semantics. Bottom line - Anna is worth watching. As the great philosopher Borat once said, “she make my chram stand.” Great success.
So here is Anna at work talking about the best jobs of 2009, and Anna at play yucking it up on Red Eye and talking about her days at Naked Summer Camp. Oh those wild and crazy Quakers.
The Naked Dawn != Naked Dawn
Apparently, I’m not the only one who went to IMDB hoping someone would make “Naked Dawn“, that we linked up yesterday, into a feature length film. The IMDB popularity of “The Naked Dawn” , made in 1955 by Edgar G. Ulmer, has skyrocketed this week. Too funny.
Funny Video of the Friday
Borat singing “Throw the Jew Down the Well.”
Sexy Video of the Friday
Danica Patrick Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Video photo shoot.
Biggest NFL Trade of the Friday
The Denver Broncos dump moody, sensitive, and incredibly overrated quarterback Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears. In return they get Kyle Orton and first-round picks in 2009 (18th overall) and 2010 and a third-round pick (84th overall) in 2009. I say Broncos win. It’s easy to put up big numbers playing a bad team; you’re always passing because you are always trailing. Jon Kitna threw for over 4000 yards in 2006 and 2007. The Lions won a total of ten games in those two years combined. The lesson - stats mean less in the NFL than in any other sport.
Hayden Panettiere likes touching her breasts in public
Everyone’s favorite heroic cheerleader, Hayden Panettiere, does what millions of horny young men would love to do - fondles her own boobs. Sure, she could just be attaching a mic prior to a TV appearance, but what if she has some secondary motive? Could she secretly enjoy it? Maybe? Maybe?
Hayden is a big fan of saving of the whales, so how about she puts that up for bid on Ebay with the proceeds going to charity? “It’s simple - You get to stuff your hand up my flimsy shirt and cop a feel of my breasts. Let the bidding start at $10K.” I predict great success.
WTF They were together again?
Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, that’s who. They divorced in 2006, publicly slept around with everyone but Stephen Hawking, and then decided it would be a great idea to get back together. Shocking it didn’t work out. Again.
Heather Mitts settles for A.J. Feeley
U.S. soccer star and hottie Heather Mitts recently got engaged to marginal NFL quarterback A.J. Feeley. Come on Heather, Feeley has a career QB rating of 69.6! You can do better than that.
Sexy Video of the Thursday
Hell has frozen over. Dog and cats living together. Mass hysteria. Britney Spears is back and looking damn good. (Did I really just say that in a non-sarcastic tone? Yes, yes I did.)
If you don’t believe me, and I don’t blame you, see for yourself: Britney Spears Candies Tour Commercial
Funny Video of the Thursday
Naked Dawn. Starring Rob Schneider and Mena Suvari.
Red Dawn + Nudist Colony = LULZ.
There’s something about Shawn Johnson
What about Shawn Johnson makes guys lose their mind? OK, maybe the psycho stalker didn’t have much of a mind to begin with, but her dance partner Mark Ballas isn’t supposed to lose control.
One would think after years of training being a professional dancer gyrating against beautiful women in revealing outfits, you’d have the self-control NOT to get sexually excited during a performance. You’d think. But then how do you explain this?
That’s sure looks like a genuine Dancing with the Stars Erection pointed straight at Shawn Johnson’s ass from here. I mean she’s cute, but what the hell? Seriously Mark Ballas, never go on stage with a loaded gun. The rule clearly states first punch the clown then do the Samba. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Random Cute Actress of the Humpday
Juilette Danielle. Her breasts are full of win.
Sexiest Video of the Humpday
Miss April Playboy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk. As Andy said to Red, “Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of the things.”
Funniest Video of the Humpday
Gotta be the Shamwow/Slap Chop guy. Slap Chop was funny before Vince went 12 rounds with a South Beach hooker, but now it is over 9000 times funnier. “You’re gonna love my nuts.”
